i have been thinking a lot about what i want my life to look like, what kind of business i want to create and what kind of people i want to attract. i crave an authentic experience... genuine people... a business that gives back. to live fully. to be present. i have struggled with how to achieve this dream and how much of my personal challenges to share in this space. i keep coming back to the same question. how can i ask people to show up with their whole heart if i'm not willing to do the same? i have decided that the first step is to share my truth.
the truth is that crisis is inevitable…
we are either headed into crisis, in it or headed out of it.
a life altering diagnosis.
a struggling business venture.
a lost loved one.
a deployed significant other.
an unexpected divorce…
really i could go on and on.
the truth is that crisis does not rely on prejudice.
all of these things are directly affecting people i love. right now.
the truth is that reason would tell you it's all pointless. however, while we do not get to calmly schedule our encounters with crisis, we do still have control. we do get to decide how we will handle situations. will we be defeated or defined... a victim of circumstance? or will we take the high road and leave the naysayers behind?
the truth is that my husband and i are separated. we have been since the beginning of october.
the truth is that i can play the blame game, but it doesn't get me anywhere. on paper i win. in real life, we both loose.
the truth is this has been a long time coming. working as a team is not our strength.
the truth is we are both guilty. we both lied. we both hurt. we both stopped loving unconditionally.
the truth is that no nice words or positive thoughts can simply make this hurt go away. there is no quick solution. only time will heal my heart.
the truth is that my children are the best things that have ever happened to me. ever. i have no regrets.
the truth is that marriage is work. some days it's fun work. others it's just plain hard. but it's work all the same. there need to be more conversations about it...
the truth is that we live in a world where bailing out when the going gets tough is acceptable. justify is our favorite verb.
the truth is taking the kids, my things and filing sound better. but, they're our kids… they're just things… and it would be an emotion-based choice. there is no easy button here.
the truth is i don't want to be bitter, angry, resentful. there is nothing attractive about those qualities.
the truth is we all think that we will reach a point in life where things will get easier. we won't. it doesn't. but it's still worth it.
the truth is i may be hurting, but at least i feel. i am experiencing all this life has to offer. the good and the bad. i am living fully.
the truth is that by embracing time and space, i'm investing in myself. divorce today would look drastically different than 2 months ago. small victories.
the truth is that i have the most phenomenal support system that a girl could dream of. hands.down. they rock my world daily and shine brightly. they believe in me on the hard days and celebrate with me on the amazing ones. for that i am so grateful!
the truth is that i'm going to dream big. love freely. dance crazy. laugh loudly. live fully.
the truth is i have no answers. my life right now is uncharted. and while i may struggle in this moment to see through the mess, this all might just be the biggest opportunity of my life. perspective.
the truth is you may think i'm crazy... you may think i'm brave... you may think i'm ignorant or naive. that's ok with me because there's also a chance that someone out there may relate or find comfort in my words. it's worth the risk and i feel better for showing up with my whole heart. so for those of you that have read this far... thank you.